You look here and there to find the path clear….you see the morning shining at you and then you start walking….you start moving. The first step you take towards your destination makes you confused, makes you feel fragile, makes you think twice…but then, at one sudden moment, you finally take the first step towards those open arms, towards that vibrant smile, towards that fragrance which makes you feel safe, that warm touch that fills you up with confidence…and eventually, you make it up to there!
You reached the arms, you reached her. Your very first wobbling approach created a joyous pulse of happiness throughout her nerves. She just saw her child started walking. You just got up on your backbone, you learned to stand straight, you just declared yourself fit and healthy and strong.
The same child approaches you again a few years later, this time with a crying face, pleading to not to leave him alone at school at his first day over there. He begs you, to take him back, he begs you and promises that he’ll drink milk from now onwards but he just wants you to take him back to his world; to his comfort zone.
Then one day, you find him walking straight with a confidence, a glamor on his face, since he has found his group of friends in school…. and another day, you find him happily talking with a girl on the phone. Very soon you see him walking hands in hands with a girl……and never to forget that one day you see him saying good-bye to you since he has learned walking, he has memorized a few books, he has passed some exams…. and now, he’s ready to fly abroad to study!
The transition period of a child to a man…. is indeed a wonder! Every parent will admit they couldn’t figure it out how fast they saw their child growing up……and how fast the time flew and suddenly he’s a grown-up man with his own degree and own life!
In today’s world, with the whole new techy world of Facebook, twitter, YouTube or blackberry, the new generation has surely maintained one aspect, they are never far from their friends even though physically they are miles apart.
It’s a common sight that in a family gathering you’ll see that son/daughter are glued to their blackberry handset and giggling by themselves and the parents are clueless of what’s going on! This sort of oneness creates a distance, gives the parent the feeling that their precious child is moving further away from them becoming someone they don’t know.
And then the parents start blaming each other for this distance between them and their child and the feeling of insecurity, tension and worries start surfacing. In situations like this, what can a child, as being the latest, should do to avoid conflicts with his or her parents?
1) Take the initiative- Remember, your parents might be the greatest but you’re the latest. Initiatives to minimize the distance between you and your parents should be taken by you at first. Always assure them that you care for them, you think for them and despite being a social person or a very studious person you always find time to listen to your mom’s complains or worries or your father’s day to day routine. Listening to their life helps you instantly in two ways. Firstly, it clears the feeling of the parents that they are not communicating enough with you and secondly, it gives you the chance to understand them better.
2) Understanding one simple truth- Be smart in knowing who cares for you and who doesn’t. Parents are indeed the only people on earth who don’t look up to you according to your degree or your earned living or skills. They will love you in spite of anything, it’s just the expression of love that varies from one person to another. Always listen to the things they want from you, let them finish and try to ask questions to see what they see through their experienced eyes… only then, you can make them understand what they’re not seeing. Remember that they are always ready to listen to you, you just need to know the language that they understand.
3) Never compare your parent with someone else’s parent- If you’ve watched National Geographic channel you’ll know that when a giraffe’s baby is born, the giraffe kicks the baby immediately and keeps on kicking the baby until it learns to stand up. The kick that the mama giraffe gives to the babies is not because she hates them but it’s the only way to make sure the hyenas around don’t eat her children.
Never compare your parents with the parents of your friends. Learn to appreciate the fact that every person is unique and so your parents are unique too. Learn the ways they can be motivated, speak in the way they understand, learn to make them understand and see what you want from your life and soon they will know and they will learn to respect and agree with your ideas and decisions.
It’s a very difficult phase every parent has to go through when they suddenly feel left out, they suddenly feel they aren’t coping up well with the fast world and they feel that as children, we are not giving their insightful thoughts importance anymore.
We grow up fast, we get degrees, we fall in love with our work, our studies, our life and forget the importance of our parents and forget to feel how they feel when they see the same kid for whom they were once the source of comfort, reliability and shelter has grown up and moved away. Learn to respect your parents and learn to keep them close to your heart, learn to handle them better because if you don’t care for them, do remember, one day, you’re going to be a parent too.